Some really good friends of mine I’ve known for years had travelled back to the UK from Canada to visit their parents, so we arranged to meet up and have a good catch up, of course because it’s Hogmanay a few friends had converged in the area and I ended up meeting with another set of friends at the same time.
I have not seen either couple for a while and there was a lot to catch up on, while the kids played we chatted, or rather I did – catching them up on the last 3-4 months of my marriage dissolving, my soon to be ex wife’s new partner, and my quest to find myself.
By the time all of that had come out and I had told them that I was seeing a counsellor it seemed like the natural thing to include the questioning of my gender and the fact that I see myself as Trans, one of my best friends gave me a hug as he told me that I was still me, and he still loved me. Another said that I was still me and she was there if I ever need anything. Good friends may be hard to come by but I have been blessed. Their respective partners may not fully understand or agree but we have been friends long enough that I know they will still be there for me, if anything I will know that any questions they have will be from a place of love. I can also trust them not to tell anyone else which is also a really big deal at the moment. The rest of the time with them was really enjoyable.
Later on I took my sister shopping for clothes for an interview she has coming up and it was so much fun finding some nice tops and trousers for her to try on, before she settled on a couple of outfits.
We then looked through the sales rack for tops for me, I wasn’t brave enough to try anything on but we would hold them up against me to check the size was right, we even tried out some handbags as I stated that I was going to need one if I was ever going to wear anything out – we looked at a few different ones and adjusted the straps and I tried them on all while presenting male, and while there were people about doing their own shopping, I don’t think any of them bothered to look at what we were doing – no one cared, least of all me. Until I got to the cashier and then my niece volunteered to come with me and use her discount card for the purchase to make me a bit less self conscious, which worked until we had a whole conversation with the cashier and then her manager about whether the card was valid lol!
Still, I ended 2018 with 4 of my good friends knowing that I am trans and being so chilled about it that I know they still love and care for me, I have spoken to my nephew who has said that as far as he’s concerned I am still the same person on the inside and am just trying to change the outside to match, my niece has not only volunteered to take me shoe shopping once I am comfortable with the idea, but has also suggested a girls night out dancing in the city where she is a student.
Oh yes – and I have a nice strappy white tee, two really nice green tops and my first handbag!
2019 is going to be an interesting year!