For the last week one of my sisters has been staying with me, she is a nursing student and needed some quiet time to submit some work that was due soon. She was the second person I told when I started questioning my gender and has spoken with me often about Dee, she even suggested my name for me, but she has only ever seen me in photographs.
As it has just been us two in the house she has finally gotten to see the real me. On Tuesday I pampered myself, shaved my legs and painted my toes, and started wearing the clothes I would have been wearing as soon as I got home alone, between my tees, my leggings and my jeans, even a pair of shorts, she has seen what little clothes still fit me after my lockdown weight increase.
I have to say that it has been bliss, totally relaxed, no pretending to be something I’m not, no trying to do anything just for appearances sake, just me being me.
I have kept up with my jogging, and she has come out with me, I also started my meal replacement shakes and lost 10 pounds over 7 days. Not a healthy long term strategy, but one that makes me feel better as I try to slim down to a size and weight I am happier with… knowing I have an unhealthy emotional relationship with food and being able to control it are two very different things.
Today it is just me and so to preoccupy myself I decided to try out one of my lockdown purchases, stick on nails. According to the packaging they are simple to apply and wil last 7 days and at £12.99 for 14 sheets they seemed like a real bargain. For once luck was with me though, these stickers are a little fiddlyas the cardboard backing on the adhesive side can be fiddly to take off even though the clear plastic side is simple enough to remove. You literally hold your finger/toe to the closest size, peel it off the backing and place onto your nail and then peel of the plastic film and cut carefully along the end of your nail to mke the sheet fit. They may not pass an up close inspection but for a night in or out they are brilliant – and I can still wash my hands and use ring pulls, but when I need to remove them they will literally peel right off using a wee cuticle stick. Perfect for those times when I need to go back to “meh” mode.
I have to say I really, really like them. It is so nice to have such a great week.