Feminising Consent Forms

I have been trying (and mostly failing) to lose weight for the last 2 years.

I struggle with an addiction to carbs. Bread, Pizza, pastries, doughnuts. I love them all!

I am also an emotional eater. I like going out for food and I love ordering takeaways and sitting and enjoying them with my family/friends. I turn to food when I am apathetic, sad, stressed or depressed… and once I start eating chocolate I crave it for days afterwards.

I piled 14 pounds on over the last year and was already heavier than I would have liked. Everything has been put on hold and that has taken its toll.

Knowing all this I am also hyper aware that at the moment I should find losing weight a lot easier than I would after I start HRT, so I have been mentally beating myself up for wasting the one thing I have had control over.

The decision by the psychologist has given me something to work towards. I carry my weight well but it is mostly around my tummy. I was attempting to go out and start jogging again but came down with a nasty case of plantar fasciitis which has stopped that cold.

So in my mind if I can lose weight and keep it off, fantastic!

– By slimming down I can wear the clothes I actually want to, but if I lose it and the weight comes back on, at least if I am on E it should do me a favour and go back on in the right places. I am doing well, over the last month I have dropped 11 pounds, and while I cannot physically see much difference; and according to the BMI charts I am obese and have just been sliding from the edge of morbidly obese back towards just being overweight. At least I do know that I am at least heading the right way and that is definitely helping stop me raiding the cupboards in my nightly trips through to the kitchen for tea and coffee.

The Scottish NHS does require consent before starting HRT, and they also take your weight and do some bloodwork.

The website that I was pointed at when I first contacted my Gender Clinic was https://www.ngicns.scot.nhs.uk/ It has loads of useful information about what is offered and what to expect regardless of whether you are MTF, FTM or Non Binary.

Here are the consent forms I must sign:

The NHS is paying for a few hours of electrolysis as well, not much when you consider that I probably have another 150 or so hours to go if the average is 200, but money saved is money saved. What I found harder was making the phonecall to book my appointment. For some reason I was really nervous, even though I started my electrolysis in 2019 I had to stop to pay my divorce costs, I had also been attending in male mode as I was not even totally sure about being trans at the time, but the NHS use your preferred name for everything so I know the billable hours will have been designated to DeeDee. I had to call and make the appointment in my own name after checking that they had recommenced offering electrolysis as I obviously cannot wear a mask, and I did all this knowing that it also means that I will need to arrive as DeeDee for my appointment which makes me nervously excited.

I am assuming/praying that my wig will not be an issue for them. There are more and more appointments that I am being myself for now which feels great, the downside was that the appointment is only for an hour which is a lot less than the sessions I was used to but the woman on the phone seemed to think that was quite a lot. I would rather one long session per month than the costs involved in frequently travelling down for shorter sessions, but I’m sure we can work it out once I get back into the swing of things.

I am supposed to be attending a geogame with my friends this weekend, it is a cross between geocaching and a virtual quiz, using your phone you go to designated places and answer clues in order to solve a murder mystery and they encourage costumes, I went to one a couple of years ago and it was great fun, but due to the state of life I do not know who is going and there are still a few folk who I have not told that might get a bit of a shock.

The theme is “detective” so I organised 2 costumes, one male and one female.

I will take both with me and see which I get to wear, I have always wanted to do a Velma Dinkley cosplay, and nearly did 20 or so years ago but chickened out just before the night was cancelled, but now I am finally feeling fairly confident that I could go out in a group and survive walking all around the city centre mid afternoon if we are all dressed up and survive not being subtle. The costume is not 100% where I would want it to be, but I don’t have the money to buy the individual bits and bobs that would make it perfect, so I had to make do with adding to what I had with a cheap jumper and socks… The idea is there even if the execution isn’t. I have a few other misgivings about the first time folks seeing me in a skirt being me in another costume but I cannot find a way to voice what it is about that that makes me uncomfortable, when in theory it may actually help.

I might be walking down the High Street like this. Jinkies!

Anyway I have probably rambled on enough.

Take care